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In memory of Karl Davis, founder of this board, who made his final journey 12th June 2007

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Author: Subject: Sime titters...
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[*] Post 509580 posted on 6-10-2017 at 16:15 Reply With Quote
Sime titters...

I will literally DIE if you don't stop using hyperboles incorrectly

I before E... except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign weighty neighbour.

The past, the present and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.

What is Grammar?
The difference between knowing your s***, and knowing you’re s***.

The exclamation mark said to the period "Why aren't you bleeding?"

What do you say when you are comforting a grammar Nazi?
There, Their, They're.

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day... “In English,” he said, “A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.”

A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”

What's the difference between a cat and a comma?

One has claws at the end of the paws and one is a pause at the end of a clause.
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[*] Post 509583 posted on 6-10-2017 at 16:44 Reply With Quote

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[*] Post 509584 posted on 6-10-2017 at 17:11 Reply With Quote

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