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In memory of Karl Davis, founder of this board, who made his final journey 12th June 2007

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Author: Subject: More Jokes
Familiar Face

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[*] Post 489431 posted on 9-9-2014 at 20:19 Reply With Quote
More Jokes

Having an Irish mixed grill today!! New potatoes, roast potatoes, boiled potatoes, mashed potatoes, waffles and hash browns with chips.
Congratulations you have won either 1,000 cash or tickets to see Elvis Presley. Press 1 for the money, 2 for the show........

A man walks into a crowded bar with a loaded gun and shouts "Right, who's been shagging my wife?" a voice in the back shouts "you don't have enough bullets, mate".....
My wife just asked me if her appendix scar made her look unattractive. Apparently the response of "don't worry babe, your tits cover it" wasn't the answer she was looking for.

A Scouser went to court accused of having intercourse with a cat. The judge dismissed the case saying that in his 30 years as a judge he'd never known a Scouser to put anything into a kitty!

A bloke from Barnsley wakes up with a sore a**e. He goes to the shop and says to the shopkeeper "nah then, does tha' sell a**e cream?"
The shopkeeper replies " aye lad we do, does tha' want a Magnum or a Cornetto?"

My wife is suffering from depression. She phoned me the other day and said "I feel like jumping in front of a bus and you're not doing anything to help". So I sent her a timetable.

I can't stop thinking about prisons .............................my mind works in strangeways.

I cannot stand people who think they're worse off than everybody else. Take my mate Don, he is brilliant. He had a bad accident where he lost his voice and both legs. Does he make a song and dance about it?. Does he hell.
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Underwater Plumber


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[*] Post 489433 posted on 9-9-2014 at 21:33 Reply With Quote

Like the Elvis one. :D
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