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Author: Subject: The Day I stuffed the Turkey !


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[*] Post 358831 posted on 2-12-2008 at 07:41 Reply With Quote
The Day I stuffed the Turkey !


It wasn’t a very large Turkey, only about 15lbs or so, and it had been thawing out nicely overnight. From his favourite observation post – on top of the eye-level grill – my cat, Merlin, watched fascinated as I removed the little bags of bits and pieces from its inside, washed it thoroughly, and stood it on a cake rack to drain while I prepared the stuffing. There was a thud …….. Merlin had sidled up and given it a fair right hook and, as it had not hit him back, was moving in for the kill ! He was politely – but firmly – banished. Imagine my surprise when, a few minutes later, the turkey was slowly creeping out through the kitchen door ! Merlin was sitting on the dining room table, “Never touched it”, he said, “Must have been in suspended animation”. Threatening to suspend him – permanently – if he put a whisker in my kitchen again, I rewashed the turkey and finished making the stuffing.

I never bothered to sew up the neck (lazy, that’s me) I just tucked it all in and began at the other end, but as I was pushing the stuffing in I kept catching my fingers on something sharp – sharp and curved – curved like a cats claw………? A pair of innocent green eyes met mine over the turkey breast, a large tabby paw – stuffing to the elbow - was hastily withdrawn. “Looking for Sal Monella”, he said, “Didn’t want her to be buried alive under all that sticky sage stuff !”. Have you ever tried to wash stuffing ?

Sparkling clean and packed from neck to stern with fresh sage and onion, the turkey was eventually ready for the oven – unfortunately the oven was not quite ready for it, I could not get the middle shelf out. After much pulling and tugging (and swearing) all to no avail, I turned off the gas, allowed the shelf time to contract as it cooled, and pounced on it with great glee – it still would not budge ! Abandoning the scientific approach I resorted to violence, and attacked it with a pair of tyre levers – they bent, the shelf broke, I burst into tears,………… and the turkey quietly vanished !

Merlin was fast asleep in the rocking chair, “Haven’t seen it “, he spat indignantly as he shook a back foot at me and strolled out…..a stroll that rapidly became a gallop when he realised that I was following. We raced up the staircase – he leading by a whisker as we reached the bedroom where, with a flying tackle that would have done credit to a Welsh Rugby player, I retrieved my turkey – from under the bed !

Sometime later it lay in its roasting tin – looking as limp and exhausted as I felt. However, with a neat coat of bacon rashers hiding the teeth print and claw marks, it was finally cooked, and tasted surprisingly good. No-one seemed to notice that its wings were missing, or that one leg was shorter than the other. That faint aroma of Dettol ? Well, you have to be clean in a kitchen, especially when there are pets about, don’t you ? Next year I am having a fresh turkey and deep freezing that cat !

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

(C) Nimuae 2008.
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[*] Post 358851 posted on 2-12-2008 at 11:35 Reply With Quote

Next year I am having a fresh turkey and deep freezing that cat !

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[*] Post 358853 posted on 2-12-2008 at 11:42 Reply With Quote

When I started reading, it was reminiscent of an e-mail I'd received years back, I thought, "unlike Nim to plagiarise". I'm glad that my thoughts were proved correct as I read on. I realised exactly why I had entertained that thought. Merlin ain't the only moggie in the world to like budgies, albeit, big ones. He does get marks for persistence. I'd think that I'd roast the cat next year, but that's me.

An entertaining story, thanks Nim!
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