And teacher's questions to smart(ass) kids... sorry Mary
Thought you might enjot these!
These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old,
Hateful little b*****d.
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY !
Must sell washer and dryer £100.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE ..
Worn once by mistake.
**** And the WINNER is... ****
FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.
Statement of the Century
Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly. "If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"
Children Are Quick
TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....
TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mum is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's..
Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
Actually I like the "different" kids. I had a problem yesterday as one of the boys has been an absolute horror to other teachers who work for me this week but is good with me. We had a chat away with everyone else about why this would be and he said "Mr so and so.... and Mr so and so... but you're solid Miss. You just "get it. You just get me". I was kind of taken aback. My next step is to make him feel as welcome with all the other teachers so he complies.
I was that very child, way back.
I eventually had a teacher that understood and he got my through my exams, with flying colours.
As with railways, who have people that drive trains and train drivers, there're those who teach and there're those who are teachers.
My son Tim was a "different" kid.
One day, he wore a bulging-bloodshot-eyes novelty to class--I think he was in fourth grade at the time. He played it absolutely straight--wearing the eyes without any difference in his behavior.
Another time, when the children were taking turns reading aloud from their books, another student had read something, and it was Tim's turn, next. He said, "That's not what it says in MY book . . ." after which he pretended to read a story which he was actually inventing as he went along, in which he included another child in the class as one of the story characters. His acting was so serious, as if he had a different story in front of him that somehow told events in the life of the classmate, and the other children were looking at each other, wondering--what is going on?
The teacher said Tim was a delight, and she never knew what to expect from him.
This was in public school. He had been in Christian school the year before, but had been told he was not welcome to come back for the next school year. He was considered disruptive because of his ADHD behavior, and they were not willing to "take a chance" that he would do better after he was diagnosed and started to get ritalin.
Absolutely, Katzy. It was one of those teachers (in the true sense of the word) that motivated our eldest in primary school and allowed him to excel.
(His IQ is, his words, "over 150".)
I just trust that my daughters eldest (4) meets such a teacher early in the piece or he will become quite a problem (IQ? I suspect well over the 150 mark)