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There's an echo in here.
Nimuae - 13-11-2008 at 16:22

THERE’S AN ECHO IN HERE.

“There’s an echo in here”,
said the heart to the brain.
“Where there ought to be logic
there’s nothing. Explain”.

“There’s good reason for that”,
said the brain to the heart.
“We’re getting older, you see,
and we’re drifting apart.”

“Nonsense,” said the heart.
“We’re all part of one whole.
There’s you and there’s me
and what some call the soul!”

“Agreed,” said the brain,
“but as time moves along
the connections between us
are not quite so strong.

The soul wanders off
in search of new grails.
Your arteries harden.
My memory bank fails.

It is sad, my old friend,
but you can’t press ‘restart’.
We’re here, then we’re gone.”
said the brain to the heart.

“There’s an echo in here.”
said the heart to the brain.
“Was I looking for something?
Just remind me again.”


(C) Nimuae 2008.


Swish Checkley - 13-11-2008 at 16:50

I love it!


marymary100 - 13-11-2008 at 17:11

Yes, it certainly resonates. One of those things that one finds so familiar even on a first reading. :)


Dreamweaver - 13-11-2008 at 17:52

Absolutely brilliantly thought out poetry. :)


Nimuae - 13-11-2008 at 18:24

Thank you all very much ! I am glad that you liked it.


victor - 14-11-2008 at 00:50

Sad but true.

Well put, left me wanting more.


the bear - 14-11-2008 at 09:44

What a novel topic, humourous, poignant and quite pithy, something that we can all identify with.


Regards the Bear


John_Little - 14-11-2008 at 09:51

Quite perversely, and for reasons I dont understand, I found myself reading the replies before the poem. I thought to myself, platitudes are all very well but they can be patronising, I'll give the poem a read and reply with some positive criticism.

But its just - good. Sorry if that sounds platitud(ious ?) or patronising, but I did try to think of some positive criticism. But MM was right. It worked on first reading.

Edit: in fact I'd go further than that. Its something I would consider reading out at a poetry reading.


the bear - 14-11-2008 at 09:58

Quote:
Originally posted by John_Little
Quite perversely, and for reasons I dont understand, I found myself reading the replies before the poem. I thought to myself, platitudes are all very well but they can be patronising, I'll give the poem a read and reply with some positive criticism.

But its just - good. Sorry if that sounds platitud(ious ?) or patronising, but I did try to think of some positive criticism. But MM was right. It worked on first reading.


I hope my words dont appear patronising, when reading submissions like Nimuae's I "feel" what I read and comment accordingly.


Regards the Bear


John_Little - 14-11-2008 at 10:09

Well, to be honest, Bear, the lead up in that post was only really a vehicle to enable me post a nice comment at the end but in a way that suggested that my view was worth more than others. So it wasn't aimed at you or anyone else; just my own ego.;)


the bear - 14-11-2008 at 10:14

Quote:
Originally posted by John_Little
Well, to be honest, Bear, the lead up in that post was only really a vehicle to post a nice comment at the end but in a way that suggested that my view was worth more than others. So it wasn't aimed at you or anyone else; just my own ego.;)



John it wasnt taken as personal, I was just sharing how I imbibe such works waveysmiley


Regards the Bear


John_Little - 14-11-2008 at 10:31

Phew! Thank you for putting my mind at rest, Bear. I hate upsetting people. Well, when there is no need for it.:)


LSemmens - 14-11-2008 at 13:03

And This Brain said to these fingers, type with all your might! "Well done Nimuae". Your poem has an air of familiarity that makes one think, "I know these people" (i.e. the conversation within the body) How many of us try to do things that our bodies say "hang on, I'm not 20 any more!"


Nimuae - 14-11-2008 at 14:42

Quote:
Originally posted by the bear
What a novel topic, humourous, poignant and quite pithy, something that we can all identify with.


Regards the Bear


Did I post something ?


LOL - sorry couldn't resist that! Thank you so much for your comments.


Nimuae - 14-11-2008 at 14:43

Quote:
Originally posted by John_Little
Quite perversely, and for reasons I dont understand, I found myself reading the replies before the poem. I thought to myself, platitudes are all very well but they can be patronising, I'll give the poem a read and reply with some positive criticism.

But its just - good. Sorry if that sounds platitud(ious ?) or patronising, but I did try to think of some positive criticism. But MM was right. It worked on first reading.

Edit: in fact I'd go further than that. Its something I would consider reading out at a poetry reading.


Thank you, JL, I will be reading it out at our next poetry meeting!


Nimuae - 14-11-2008 at 14:44

Quote:
Originally posted by the bear
Quote:
Originally posted by John_Little
Quite perversely, and for reasons I dont understand, I found myself reading the replies before the poem. I thought to myself, platitudes are all very well but they can be patronising, I'll give the poem a read and reply with some positive criticism.

But its just - good. Sorry if that sounds platitud(ious ?) or patronising, but I did try to think of some positive criticism. But MM was right. It worked on first reading.


I hope my words dont appear patronising, when reading submissions like Nimuae's I "feel" what I read and comment accordingly.


Regards the Bear


Dear Bear - no-one could ever think of you as patronizing!


Nimuae - 14-11-2008 at 14:45

Quote:
Originally posted by LSemmens
And This Brain said to these fingers, type with all your might! "Well done Nimuae". Your poem has an air of familiarity that makes one think, "I know these people" (i.e. the conversation within the body) How many of us try to do things that our bodies say "hang on, I'm not 20 any more!"


LOL - thank you !!


John_Little - 14-11-2008 at 17:09

Now try and get your hat back on.

;)


LSemmens - 15-11-2008 at 12:13

He won't even get back out the door! What'll he need a hat for? :king)