For those of you who doesn't know, I miscarried in August, and have decided to wait till December to try again.
It is December
Any and all tips welcome
What I am doing now:
Both of us taking vitamins/folic acid combo Sanatrogen
Charting temperature in the morning.
No caffeine for me, instead Rooibos tea (organic).
I never smoked, and don't drink alcohol.
My cycle is on the long side, so my next ovulation day should be coming sometime around Christmas
What about a bottle of red wine, candles and something from the Nigella Lawson cookery book?
Well, what about the candles?
Have those, no problem
But perhaps I should get a proper one, not tea lights...
All the best Quaver, I hope it all goes well for you. SWMBO only had to look at me to fall pregnant so I cannot begin to empathise with your problem.
I do know that when the little one is born you will make the proudest and happiest parents. We've several friends who have either used IVF or
adopted, so can understand your concerns.
I will pray that all goes well for you.
It's the quality and motility of the swimmers on the day in question that matters if you know you are definitly going to ovulate at a certain time.
http://www.having-a-baby.com/millenium.htm is an example of may sites available online to make your life easier.
Falling pregnant wasn't the issue however so take care once you get there.
Watch Gavin and Stacy you might get some tips from them.
Didn't Stacy tell Gavin that after she'd had a baby he wouldn't be getting any more sex?
A wise man helps to take care of the baby so that the woman still has some energy left for him.
But I do have excel chart
As the Nike ad says Just Do It
Is that Politically Correct, Quaver?
It's time of the month for making babies
Hope my hubby is up for it tonight, I did tell him yesterday.
We have decided to wait 'till it is close to my ovulation (egg releasing) as possible, so everything is at its freshest (to avoid miscarriage).
Will know the results around the end of first week in January.
With us luck
Just enjoy the intimacy. The rest will follow.
What happened was, on Saturday night, we went out. One of his friends said when are you going to have kids? He said he is waiting for the stork to
bring the baby.
On the way back home (me driving since he had some drink), noticing it's nearly my ovulation, and since we didn't do the 'thing' for over a week, I asked him:
Q: Do you really think the stork brings the babies?
Mr.Q: What? it doesn't?
Q: We do need to do something you know
Mr.Q: Let's do it tonight!
Q: Not without protection. Your swimmers are drunk. Tomorrow
I dont think it makes any difference. Does it?
Just relax and enjoy the ride, Q. Getting pregnant may be the easy bit, the rest of the ride may be the hard part.
Just let it happen,what would be best for the said off spring that mum laid in bed with a thermometer and stop watch in one hand and ovulation charts
and a breathalizer in the other saying to Mr Q "5 4 3 2 1" start now.
That you go overcome with good old fashioned lust, ended up on the rug in front of the fire in the middle of Coronation Street which lead Mr Q to instigate an action replay to the strains of the "Bill"
Regards the Bear
Too much information..
Enjoy it anyway!
They say it takes three month for the swimmers to develop.
My OH is not a regular drinker, but has been drinking this past 2 weeks with Christmas parties etc.
I've always been a teetotaler so don't understand how it can be worth it
I think you should take a visit to The Cerne Abbas Giant
What's up now, has your central heating packed up?
He's got a big club.
That's good, if he gives the central heating a jolly good thumping with it, that's bound to get it working again.
Is he GPO trained, by any chance?
That's probably what the problem is.
Posting on here all night won't help of course...
Getting back to alcohol, your abstinence will be a good thing once you are pregnant. When she was pregnant, Theresa sat in pubs with me with her drinking orange juice and lemonade all night while I had a good time.
You mean like Debbie does Daffodils?
Karen does it everywhere...
I'm 4 days past ovulation. Trying to guess whether it worked or not.
Mum said I look tired. I asked do you think I'm pregnant? She said no
I asked my sister if she thinks I look tired or pregnant, she said she can't see the difference
My clothes are getting too tight, and my stomach feels like I've eaten too much, but then it was Christmas
I can't wait to give birth! My belly would pass for about 3 weeks past due! I do hope that you are pregnant Quaver and that all goes well!
Ahem, my period seems to be on its way, so better luck cycle 2
Keep going for it . You know they say Practice makes Perfect , so enjoy practicing .
I will be releasing my egg soon, pity hubby is away tomorrow night
You could try holding your breath and keeping very still till he gets back.
Just a little update, I probably ovulated on 29th Jan. We did our thing on 27th so here's hoping it wasn't too early/late
Two days early seems a bit much. I'm pretty sure they take quite a while to get to the egg but not two days. Have you googled?
Oh, yes, you said. On 27th.
A googly egg is part of the process, so I've been told!
Perhaps my egg was not Googly enough, I got negative on home pregnancy test this morning
It was a bit early (10 days past ovulation), I was going to test on Thursday, but gave in to temptation. Bad move, now I don't have any tests at home. I don't think I could get one until Friday now (without anyone knowing - which is the point)
Are you going through IVF/IUI/etc Q...?
Have fun, have sex... and other baby-making tips.
Well said, Bear and Daz.
Sometimes assistance is helpful from the medical arts, but there's no reason to bring it in when it is not needed.
Nope. Just relax and enjoy the ride, or otherwise, as the case may be!
Enjoy being with your husband. Don't see the baby as the goal. It helps cement your relationship at the very least.
I once read in some book that keep a pillow under your rear all night after the act.( think about it) its so the swimmers will go the right way,jmb
Relax, and just remember, practice makes perfect (and try, try, try again, another useful proverb.)
All those old sayings we learned seem made for a situation like this
Besides, ain't it fun trying?
Period arrived yesterday
This is the summary of my 2 cycles we tried, doing the deed 4 or 5 days before ovulation does not work. I think it needs to be closer than that to have a chance (I knew that, but does he?)
Shall I tell him or what
Our next encounter is April so I have lot's of time...
I'll U2U you from my other account Q if you really want advice on this as I've already been through it all.
Hubby has been away for a week, he came back yesterday, and we done the thing. It was 15th day of my cycle.
Temp went up this morning (ie have ovulated).
Now was that enough or was that too late? Will find out sometime in May...
Cross your legs and pray for the best!
It's a little difficult to get impregnated if you cross your legs, or so I've been told.
A little update, I went to the fertility specialist, and was told I have PCOS (ovary problem). Not unexpected, since I have a sister with that, and
most probably my mum too (undiagnosed). My cycles were irregular from the beginning, as were my sister/mother, so hey-ho.
Good news is, the doctor said it is easily remedied (yeah right) with Clomid (ovulation inducing drug), so he'll put me on it from my next cycle as soon as he checks the hormones etc via blood test next week.
I don't mind blood tests, even though I fainted last time
I had ultrasound too, and the doctor said I'll be fertile next week, pity hubby is away
Have to provide hubby's sample by Friday, but for some reason, hubby is nervous It's not like there would be any problem with his sample since we conceived ok last time.
I think the fact that I said 'I need it tomorrow morning before you go to work' made him nervous. I have to get the sample to the hospital within 1 hr (hospital is 10min taxi ride away).
How hard could that be?
Thanks Daz. It is hard for me to understand
It is only for semen analysis, and we are not making a baby with the sample, but I suppose that won't make him less nervous?
I did tell him if the sample comes back not good, we can try again in 3 months time.
Are there anything I could do to help?
When we had to do that deed, Q, after I had had the chop, we did it together, SWMBO did most of the hard work and then as I was ready to explode, she did the catching (in the jar), I then had to drive to the city to deliver it.
I was tempted to do the joke about getting the lid off but the subject is too serious for brevity.
Although hubby said he'll do the sample on Friday, this morning after breakfast, he suddenly announced he wants to try it now
So we did it! It worked
I've taken it safely to the hospital, so all went well.
I tried to help, but I was not quite up to standard (too strong), so I provided something to touch
Thanks Daz and Leigh for your insight. Without that, I would probably have said something really insensitive
I find it best to wedge it in the door frame.
Only if you catch your fingers
Thanks, John, made I larf, but only at your misfortune!
Just remember Daz, keep smiling, this will bring you and Mr Daz closer and will also give you some fond memories in your dotage! Who knows, you may even get to share it with your younguns one day. Though, if they be like ours, screws nose up, "eeeeewwww! Too much information!!!" We do have a good and open relationship with our kids and can talk about anything.
I think you mean Quaver and Mr Q or else Daz is being a bit of a bad boy...
Hubby's sperm analysis came back with asthenoteratozoospermia. He was given Vitamin E tablets and some herbal thing called Exsativa to take everyday.
Dr didn't seem too concerned but I Googled
Hope it improves...
As for me, I was given something to induce period, and Clomid to induce ovulation. The egg is taking its time, it is 7mm today, and it should be 2cm. It is on Quaver time (the usual late ovulation)
Hope Clomid works in inducing early ovulation, it's OK either way, if it works great, but won't coincide with hubby, if it's late then it'll meet hubby's swimmers
For him: boxers, no alcohol
For you: relaxation tapes, candles and plenty of rest.
That name looks like some zoological specimen, are you sure that is a real "disease"?
I hope it all works for you!
I think you are thinking of Aardvaarks, Leigh.
And it won't that fast. It's a 3 month plan.
I'm not too keen on the loose fitting kind, either.
Why bother to change them?
They only get dirty again.
Little update, seen my doctor today, and he said Clomid worked well and the egg is growing nicely, and I should ovulate this Saturday!
Yes, I know there is only 20% chance of conceiving/perfect timed cycle, and there's less chance since my hubby's swimmers is 99% bad, but can't help hoping
The doctor said my ovaries, uterus lining and egg looks good
Right. Fingers crossed.
I'm praying that it all works for you Q! Just remember of the 39 million sperm cells in a typical.... only 1 needs to fertilize a cell, and if hubbies are only 1% viable, that still means that 39,000 are still good. If you chuck 39,000 balls at the goal, even blind folded, surely one must go in!
Unless you're in the England team, of course.
I have only just caught up on your quest, but I would like to add my best wishes to you too.
Hey, Queenie, can't you issue some sort of royal decree along the lines that Quavers eggs and Mr Q's swimmers had better do their job or they'll be for the chopping block or the like?
A bit of a rant.
Doc said to do the dance every night.
Me: I don't think hubby can do that, can we do every other night?
Doc: That's fine.
Me: Which days shall we do?
Doc: Friday night and Monday morning.
Back home, hubby said, let's try every night
Friday night went fine.
Saturday night went fine.
Sunday morning I got 'Peak' on my fertility monitor (You get 89% better chance of conceiving if we do the dance on the Peak day and/or the day after.)
That was it.
Sunday night hubby couldn't finish it, nor on Monday
Great huh? Men and their egos. I knew he couldn't do it every night
There goes the 89% and the expensive Fertility monitor. What's the point of buying them if we are not going to use it?
I thought I'll rant away here, since I'm acting cool and un-bothered in front of my hubby
OK, I mumbled
Hubby couldn't deliver his goods on the day my eggs came down.
He tried, but it just didn't come.
I said we should try every other day, but he insisted he could do every day. He was wrong, and we missed the egg yet again (unless his swimmers can survive for 48hrs which is very unlikely since his swimmers are less than perfect).
What I want to say is 'I told you so', but I won't.
I'll just post my mumblings here
I don't know how this will go down, not well likely, but I'll say it anyway, having had 5, nearly 6 years of experience of this whole heavy scene.
I'll also offer my apologies in advance.
IVF, and the like is hard going, for both parties. Most of us blokes are not great at the whole communication thing, but like to think we're very good at the "lady dance" thing. It's a massive dent in most men's psyche to know their firing duds, add the whole "on demand" thing in the equation, and well, it's easy to become over whelmed with it all, and easily soul destroyed. (Never admitting it out loud, 'natch.)
Performing to timetables, and on demand sounds real easy, until in the situation, and you're seeing the expectation in your partners eyes, and the hope in her heart that every dance you do, is THE dance, and this time it will have worked while she lays legs pointed ceiling wise, nothing needs to be said, but the pressure, month after month, try after try, year after year, becomes a real hard emotion to deal with pretty quick... Then, mostly, reality comes back and kicks you in the teeth next month, and the whole heart wrenching thing of seeing your partner go through it all starts again...
I don't know how you are pushed for time, Q, (biologically) but the more relaxed you both can be, without putting yourselves under pressure will more rewarding, both at the time you dance, and for gaining that dancing medal... Mrs D felt she was running out time, (very debatable TBH, buts what she felt) which only intensified her emotions, desires and the pressure for us both.
Once Mrs D put the idea of babies out her mind and we danced, because we wanted to dance, not to produce something, we hit the jackpot. (The day before we began the next batch of treatment.)
All much easier said than done, granted.
I wish you both well. (and apologies again.)
Now, I'm off to be all macho and blokey elsewhere.... Enough of this.
Excellent post, Daz.
I hear that Daz, as commited as hubby may be circumstance will very quickly reduce him to the level of a sperm donor to be used on demand.
The "dance" is supposed to be an act of love not an act of contrision.
"Clinical" brow beats "Togetherness"
Regards the Bear
Thanks Daz, for sharing such a personal experience.
It is all too easy to forget hubby's feelings, he doesn't show much
We are pressed for time as well, age wise, we wanted two kids. I'll settle for one though
A thought, Q, friends were in much the same position as you and could not conceive to the end that they eventually adopted. After that, the "pressure" was off and they did manage to naturally conceive and carry two more children even though they were both in their late forties at the time. I'm not saying that you should adopt a child just for this process, that would be wrong, in the extreme. But, it could be worth considering if your sincerely desire to love a small child and raise it to be a person after your own heart.
I don't know if I want a baby that late though, I'd be 70 when the child graduates uni
We haven't talked about adoption yet, but might consider after IVF.
I know your thinking, there, Q. I have a friend who, for his 60th was feeding his youngest (1 yo). His wife is several years his junior. My ambition was to live long enough to be a problem for my kids, at the rate I am going, I expect to be a problem for my great grandchildren, and, just possibly, great-great grandchildren.
Oh no! no! no!
We have 15mins to produce hubby's sample to take to the clinic, but we've been at it for nearly an hour, and nothing is coming!
I'm having IUI (insemination with hubbys washed and treated swimmers using a catheter) today, my eggs are ready, probably already ovulated, and no swimmers!
Hubby is looking at some dubious pics on his PC (he wants to see it privately), and I'm anxiously waiting
If we miss this window, it's next month, and I was thinking of giving it a rest next cycle as I've had lots of injections and medication to prepare for this, and want a break
(Note: I'm not in the UK).
Oh, Q, I hope he was able to produce in time.
The distraction/pressure of performing on demand is an understandable problem for us males.
"Q" a little rest may do both of you good, re affirm the hand holding and the candle lit oily back rubs, leave the PC switched off, just fall asleep
in each others arms. Come back to the task in hand refreshed. Different approach, different results.
Sincere regards the Bear
Thank you both
He did produce in the end, I took the sample to the clinic alone, as hubby did not have time to change or energy. I handed it in only 20 minutes late.
I've done my IUI now, the doctor said the sample was very disappointing... Seems taking vitamins and supplements since June was not enough.
Oh well, will hope for the best, and prepare for another cycle
We're thinking of you both. My young son and his wife have been desperately trying to produce another offspring, but time is against them, she is in her 40s and has suffered several miscarriages, which has been heart-wrenching. They can, at least take comfort in their son (3) and her daughters (7 and 20) from a previous relationship. The 20 year old now has 2 of her own.
Hope your son and daughter-in-law have another baby soon
Thanks Quaver, it won't be for lack of trying!