Karl`s PC Help Forums

selfish mothers?
Swish Checkley - 7-11-2008 at 16:04

An old Daily Mail article I found randomly in a moment of boredom and had to share.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-397672/Sorry-children-bore-death.html
'What do you think - is Helen selfish?'


marymary100 - 7-11-2008 at 16:20

She bores me.

I'd like her children more than her I suspect.

Why have them if you're going to get someone else to do all the "parenting"? It's a very old fashioned attitude that children should be banished to the nursery and private school so that the mother has time for herself.

I think, as in all things, that it is possible to strike a balance and be satisfied in your adult life as well as doing things with your children. You don't need to go down the 24/7 parenting route in order to be a parent. Afterall, most men have been managing to have children and do the work thing for generations without a backward glance. You need to give them some of your time though.


Theravad - 7-11-2008 at 16:39

Quote:
Originally posted by Swish Checkley

'What do you think - is Helen selfish?'


Totally self-centered! Missing out on the absolute joy children can be if you bother to form a relationship with them. The highlight of my day today will be a trip, with kids in tow, to the firework display - without them I would have retired to the fire for the night with classic FM and a good book.

T


Swish Checkley - 7-11-2008 at 18:38

Quote:
Originally posted by marymary100
Why have them if you're going to get someone else to do all the "parenting"? It's a very old fashioned attitude that children should be banished to the nursery and private school so that the mother has time for herself.

I couldn't agree more.
Quote:
I think, as in all things, that it is possible to strike a balance and be satisfied in your adult life as well as doing things with your children. You don't need to go down the 24/7 parenting route in order to be a parent. Afterall, most men have been managing to have children and do the work thing for generations without a backward glance. You need to give them some of your time though.

*nodding*


Swish Checkley - 7-11-2008 at 18:39

Quote:
Originally posted by Theravad
Totally self-centered! Missing out on the absolute joy children can be if you bother to form a relationship with them.

Yes, why have them if you don't actually want to spend time with them?


Daz - 7-11-2008 at 21:31

I couldn't be bothered to read the most of article I'm afraid, I got to the end of each sentence and just kept thinking what a selfish, silly cow she was...

I can scanned the rest of the article, she didn't change my first of opinion of her.

Agree, entirely with what Mary and T said, I try to enjoy (not always easy!) every minute I spend with my lad...


LSemmens - 8-11-2008 at 10:43

There is an age old principle here, "You reap what you sow". It reminds me of the old Harry Chapin number, "The Cat's in the Cradle".

Like Daz, I could not be bothered to finish reading the article, it was boring! I think that was her point. How she manages to make a living at writing when she can't even be interested enough in her chosen subject, beats me!


Nimuae - 8-11-2008 at 11:01

My Grandma used to say that only boring people were ever bored! Sounds like she was right.


Badgergirl - 28-11-2008 at 14:27

Quote:
Originally posted by Daz
I couldn't be bothered to read the most of article I'm afraid, I got to the end of each sentence and just kept thinking what a selfish, silly cow she was...

I can scanned the rest of the article, she didn't change my first of opinion of her.

Agree, entirely with what Mary and T said, I try to enjoy (not always easy!) every minute I spend with my lad...


I did exactly the same!

Those kids might not mind much now, since it's all they know, but how on earth will it effect the poor sod's when they are adults?

What a selfish *#^! (Insert four letter expletive of choice)

It hurts me even more to read this because my J has a similar mother.

He is a wonderful artist. He draws Manga art in a style inspired by Akira Toriyami (Dragon Ball series), and adapted to his own tastes.

He always has had a unique style, but loves to draw over the top battle scenes, vampires, motorbikes etc....

At the age of 22, he still loves to show off his latest pictures, and even now his mother says "Can't you draw something else"

At the age of 6, he was a Dog in a play. He had to keep his mask on and sing.

Instead of a "Well done" he got
"Should've taken your mask off"

I've seen how all this has effected J, and now he doesn't believe me when I praise him.


LSemmens - 29-11-2008 at 12:16

Keepup with the positive encouragement, BG. SWMBO had grown up in a similar environment, only more so (violence etc). It took many years of postive encouragement to get her to the point that she now knows that her opinion is worth something, and that her choices are equllay as good!


scholar - 30-11-2008 at 00:03

Dr. Dobsen says that if you have developed a good relationship with a child, then proper discipline will be a good thing. But, discipline without such a relationship will lead to resentment.