(being a letter to 7....)
You know you are much loved. You are not, in point of fact, starving, no matter how much you tell me you are. The vet said to cut down on your food so I have done. Having 1.5 rather than 2 pouches of gooshy food a day is NOT reason to file a complaint against the Geneva Convention.
No, really, it is not.
Trust me on this.
And the generally accepted way to get from one end of the French window to another is to walk upon the ground. Walking on the back of the settee is also an option for small cats.
When, however, you insist on attempting this journey by hanging on the inside of the rather light curtains, get half way across and realise that you are, in fact, not coping particularly well, I will laugh at you. I will retrieve you and put you upon the ground (really, try it, it's possible), but I will laugh as I do it.
However, you are entirely correct about that open box on the floor. When you are in it and crouched down, you are, in fact, invisible. Yes, you are. Of course you are...
(What would you say to your pet?)
It's a cat thing! She sounds like she has you just where she wants you!
'I'm not feeding you! If you were really that hungry you'd finish the last meal I gave you' *exasperated sigh* (also been advised by vet to cut down on amount of food due to cat being slightly overweight)
Swimming quickly round the bowl may look like fun, and may even be fun, but when you launch yourself out of the bowl and onto the carpet in a hari kari fashion, it will not end well.
Please endeavour to stay within the confines of your bowl in future.
[When I had a cat, with my wife]
O Kitty, that shoebox holds two quarts, and you are 1 1/2 gallons. No matter how you arrange yourself, you will overflow. Ye cannae change th'laws of physics!