Happy hour is a sneaky little afternoon nap.
Your rebellion rock songs play in the lift.
You roll your eyes when young people moan about how hard they work.
You trip and fall and people gasp instead of laugh.
You've seen the same fashion come and go three times.
You keep jackets and sunscreen in the car for when the weather changes.
It's been years since anyone asked you for ID to buy alcohol.
You pay someone to do a job you could do yourself because your time is more valuable than the money.
People send you cards with numbers on them....
You have a choice to buy the item with a ten-year guarantee or the one with with a lifetime guarantee, and you choose the ten-year-guarantee version
because you figure it is guaranteed for longer. . . .
All the people with whom you went to school have gotten soooo old-looking.
The joint replacement that you expected to last you for the rest of your life has worn out.
You think, "If I'd known I would live to be this old, I would have taken better care of myself."
Ordinary items you use in daily life are expensive collectibles and/or antiques.
You know what it means to sound like a broken record, and you know why people are said to dial a telephone number.