Seems I'm smart...
1. What do you get if you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
2. Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.
3. I tried walking up a hill without a watch but had neither the time nor the inclination.
4. What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care.
5. What do you get when you cross an octopus with a cow? A reprimand from the Scientific Integrity and Professional Ethics Committee and immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.
6. Your mum is so mean, she has no standard deviation.
7. A German asks for a martini. "Dry?" says the bartender. "Nein, just one."
8. Two women walk into a bar and discuss the Bechdel test.
9. Pavlov is sitting at a bar, when all of the sudden the phone rings. Pavlov gasps, "Oh no, I forgot to feed the dogs".
10. How many Marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, the lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
11. I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
I had to google the Bechdel test.
I knew that because of media studies. I wouldn't feel too bad about not knowing it right away.