One day, God was looking down at earth and saw all of the rascally behaviour that was going on...
So, He called His angels and sent one to earth for a time.
When the angel returned, he told God, 'Yes, it is bad on earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not.
God thought for a moment and said, 'Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion.'
So, God called another angel and sent her to earth for a time.
When the angel returned she went to God and said, 'Yes, it's true. The earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good...'
God was not pleased.
So, He decided to e-mail the 5% who were good, because He wanted to encourage them, and give them a little something to help them keep going.
Do you know what the e-mail said?
Just wondering, because I didn't get one either...
I could tell you what mine said, but that would move me over in to the 95% bracket...
It's worth pointing out that anyone using a dial up internet service might not yet have received the e-mail due to the slowness of their connection.
Mine said "There is no greater torment than to be alone in paradise". So I'm joining the 95%.
It's also worth pointing out that anyone who has been involved in criminal activities, such as tax evasion, will definitely not be eligible to receive the e-mail.
Mine said "Report to my office on arrival."
Yes, the office is located in the basement area adjacent to the furnaces.
I think I could manage...
And I think you'd kill yourself trying!
Not a bad way to go, though, ay?
Think again, they're all lesbians !
I will neither confirm, nor deny, that I got an email, nor will I tell you what it said, because if I told you what was in my email, that would be confirming that I got one, which I've already said that I would not confirm or deny what I got.....
How do you know I'm not one of your Tory MP's?