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Screaming children
marymary100 - 4-1-2009 at 15:48

I went shopping in a huge store today. There was one child of about 4/5 who was sitting in the trolley screaming her head off because she liked the echo it was making. Her face lit up every time she did it so she wasn't upset. Her mother kept on saying "Whose loud voice is that?" and smiling at her daughter.

I feel that this moment encapsulated much of modern life - shopping, screaming, indulging.


delanti - 4-1-2009 at 16:56

It does seem that we have come to a sorry state in life don't it Mary? For me it is the indulgence thing that rubs me raw since parents and grandparents today seem to lost the word no .

My YS is guilty of this in regard to those 25 cent machines you find in the lobby of every store. When he and the grandson come out of a store, the GS always wants a quarter to get a piece of junk which my son indulges him in doing.

Several years ago I had my grandson here for 10 days and while here when he asked for those quarters, the answer was no and he managed to survive and return home not traumatized the rest of his life. He did however learn that even though Dad can be manipulated Grampa can't.waveysmiley


LSemmens - 5-1-2009 at 07:47

I will be accused of being an unfit parent, if any of my children chose to scream, I'd smartly give them something to scream about. Strangely, none of them did!


DeWitch - 5-1-2009 at 13:30

Quote:
Originally posted by LSemmens
I will be accused of being an unfit parent, if any of my children chose to scream, I'd smartly give them something to scream about. Strangely, none of them did!

I'm with you! although I never had children:(
But I often feel like "giving it" to some that I see/hear when out about.
The ones throwing fits in restaurants really get me. They used to (or do) have smoke-free areas, I think they should also have brat-free areas for those who would like to enjoy a quiet, relaxing meal.


janet - 5-1-2009 at 14:13

Quote:
Originally posted by LSemmens
I will be accused of being an unfit parent, if any of my children chose to scream, I'd smartly give them something to scream about. Strangely, none of them did!


That teaches an interesting thing - violence is a correct response to annoyance. Not something I'd do, I have to admit.

I'd have told my child to stop, as they were causing inconvenience and stress to other people. If they didn't stop, we'd have left - and done so knowing that they'd have music to face at home, with loss of privileges or some such.


Daz - 5-1-2009 at 23:10

Quote:
Originally posted by janet

I'd have told my child to stop, as they were causing inconvenience and stress to other people. If they didn't stop, we'd have left - and done so knowing that they'd have music to face at home, with loss of privileges or some such.


Is exactly what we do...


LSemmens - 6-1-2009 at 05:06

My statement was brief of choice. No punishment was ever meted out in our home out of frustration. The child was given the choice, continue in their chosen course of action and suffer the consequences, or cease. If we made a threat of punishment, then that was the threat that we were going to carry out, and they knew it. Sometimes it was no television, or removal of other privileges, sometimes it was a smack. If, as parents we were unprepared to follow through upon any action (good or bad) then the children, rightly, would not have had any respect for our word. SWMBO made them walk home from the shop (several KM) one day as they chose to ignore her request to stop arguing. (This sounds worse than it was, as Darwin was a safe community where children could be safely on the streets, it was "dry season" so not too hot, and eldest was about 14 at the time)


Badgergirl - 6-1-2009 at 08:48

Quote:
Originally posted by janet
Quote:
Originally posted by LSemmens
I will be accused of being an unfit parent, if any of my children chose to scream, I'd smartly give them something to scream about. Strangely, none of them did!


That teaches an interesting thing - violence is a correct response to annoyance. Not something I'd do, I have to admit.

I'd have told my child to stop, as they were causing inconvenience and stress to other people. If they didn't stop, we'd have left - and done so knowing that they'd have music to face at home, with loss of privileges or some such.


I was always taken right out of the shop!
If I didn't stop being naughty, that's when I got smacked, and oddly enough, I believe in smacking and even odder, I don't hit people when I'm angry.

Funny that.


janet - 6-1-2009 at 09:22

There may well be a time and a place for smacking - but "giving a child something to scream about" isn't one of them, imo.


MadRoy - 6-1-2009 at 10:05

I have found that finding the parent and telling them "Shut that thing up or I'll kill it." is very effective. Or even telling the child itself that their behavior is inappropriate and I won't tolerate it any longer works too. Parents usually get upset and leave with the first option and try to whine that I shouldn't be correcting their kids with the second, to which I usually reply "Honey/Homie somebody's gotta and you aren't doing a damned thing." and walk away.
My wife doesn't make me go shopping with her very much anymore. Wonder why that is?


janet - 6-1-2009 at 10:06

If you told me that, you'd be talking to a nice police officer very quickly. I don't tolerate threats of violence against myself or my children.


LSemmens - 6-1-2009 at 12:30

There, we agree, Janet.

As to the other comment it was couched more along the lines of. "If you do not stop screaming then you will have something to scream about." Generally after many requests to tone it down, and after being told that the behaviour is not acceptable at home, or in public. They certainly had plenty of warning. As I said, it was not needed very often. For years our tribe would sit in the front row at church (eldest up to 10 with youngest being 5) whilst mum and dad were both on stage for a good part of the service. At no time did we even need to think about disciplining them, they knew what was required, and also knew that, if they helped us out, we'd "help them out" too. They knew that we'd treat them fairly and any punishment was just. As they came into their teens, often they'd bring a friend home who was being abused or just plain tossed out of home, knowing that we'd do well by them. It was how SWMBO was awarded an Australia Day Citizen of the year award in our community. She spent a lot of time campaigning for a place in the community for homeless youth.


LSemmens - 6-1-2009 at 12:33

There, we agree, Janet.

As to the other comment it was couched more along the lines of. "If you do not stop screaming then you will have something to scream about." Generally after many requests to tone it down, and after being told that the behaviour is not acceptable at home, or in public. They certainly had plenty of warning. As I said, it was not needed very often. For years our tribe would sit in the front row at church (eldest up to 10 with youngest being 5) whilst mum and dad were both on stage for a good part of the service. At no time did we even need to think about disciplining them, they knew what was required, and also knew that, if they helped us out, we'd "help them out" too. They knew that we'd treat them fairly and any punishment was just. As they came into their teens, often they'd bring a friend home who was being abused or just plain tossed out of home, knowing that we'd do well by them. It was how SWMBO was awarded an Australia Day Citizen of the year award in our community. She spent a lot of time campaigning for a place in the community for homeless youth.