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Topic Review
Nimuae

[*] posted on 24-7-2017 at 14:39
What is stopping YOU from reporting it, Scholar, you seem to know the details. Having that knowledge and doing nothing is collusion.

I don't know what the rules are in US but over here reports can be made anonimously and they are always investigated.
Badgergirl

[*] posted on 24-7-2017 at 12:37
Quote:
Originally posted by marymary100
It's not her actions we are querying.



I deal with Child Protection all the time. It's not my job to decide if the child is truthful but it is my role to report claims of abuse to those who are paid to investigate. If I swept it under the carpet because I didn't believe the child or overlooked it because someone else had taken the child in, I would be culpable.

I had two CP cases in June. One got taken into care and the other went to live with a relative while claims were being investigated. In both cases the child had a better outcome than if we had done nothing. But, and this is the salient point, we protected more children caught up in the stories who had been too scared to speak out.

It is highly unlikely that an abuser is concentrating on only one child. It tends to be a lifelong pattern, until they are stopped.


EXACTLY THIS.

It does no good when the adults in a child's life try to play chess to protect them. Second guessing, colluding, hiding or "trying to find a solution" is not doing the one thing that *must be done*.
Report this. Take the consequences as they come.
marymary100

[*] posted on 22-7-2017 at 10:29
It's not her actions we are querying.



I deal with Child Protection all the time. It's not my job to decide if the child is truthful but it is my role to report claims of abuse to those who are paid to investigate. If I swept it under the carpet because I didn't believe the child or overlooked it because someone else had taken the child in, I would be culpable.

I had two CP cases in June. One got taken into care and the other went to live with a relative while claims were being investigated. In both cases the child had a better outcome than if we had done nothing. But, and this is the salient point, we protected more children caught up in the stories who had been too scared to speak out.

It is highly unlikely that an abuser is concentrating on only one child. It tends to be a lifelong pattern, until they are stopped.
scholar

[*] posted on 21-7-2017 at 17:04
I think she did what she thought best.

Her own daughter was molested by another relative some years ago, and she supported her in helping to prosecute the young man, who was convicted. But then, he was granted to have another trial, and we don't know for certain that the outcome will again be the same. My point being, she has proved she will bring in officials, even against a relative, if there is reason to believe it would prevail against the offender.

She is also the one who has dealt directly with the girl, so as to be in a position to consider her wishes and willingness or unwillingness to testify.
marymary100

[*] posted on 21-7-2017 at 09:30
Quote:
Originally posted by Nimuae
So the man is left free to abuse someone else ?

That is disgusting, Scholar, all concerned should be totally ashamed.


what she said


Inaction is collusion
Nimuae

[*] posted on 21-7-2017 at 04:55
So the man is left free to abuse someone else ?

That is disgusting, Scholar, all concerned should be totally ashamed.
scholar

[*] posted on 21-7-2017 at 01:05
The grand-niece of whom I spoke is now living with one of my grand-daughters, who is a young adult. My adult step-daughter, whom the grand-niece initially contacted, kept her safe until such arrangements were made.

In this situation, with the girl's mother taking the side of her common-law husband instead of her own daughter's side, she felt it was the best that could be done.
Redwolf5150

[*] posted on 10-7-2017 at 03:02
You know how many cases like this I am covering right now? Do you know what it does to the victims?

REPORT HIM!
marymary100

[*] posted on 9-7-2017 at 12:23
Entirely so. In fact, it makes you a colluder in child abuse if you do nothing.

tbh I don't know why you would tell us but not those who would do something about it because it was their job to do so.
Badgergirl

[*] posted on 9-7-2017 at 11:39
Quote:
Originally posted by Nimuae
Quote:
Originally posted by LSemmens
REPORT THE SITUATION TO THE POLICE - I cannot say it any louder. Surprisingly enough, when it comes to paedophilia, the cops tend to be less than sympathetic to the alleged perp regardless of his guilt or innocence. If you don't report it, then you are enabling him.


Exactly! Report him, Scholar - it is the right thing to do!



YOU MUST report this.
No amount of family ettiquete is worth the damage you do by not reporting this. An unreported danger is a crime waiting to happen.
Nimuae

[*] posted on 5-7-2017 at 07:42
Quote:
Originally posted by LSemmens
REPORT THE SITUATION TO THE POLICE - I cannot say it any louder. Surprisingly enough, when it comes to paedophilia, the cops tend to be less than sympathetic to the alleged perp regardless of his guilt or innocence. If you don't report it, then you are enabling him.


Exactly! Report him, Scholar - it is the right thing to do!
LSemmens

[*] posted on 5-7-2017 at 01:17
REPORT THE SITUATION TO THE POLICE - I cannot say it any louder. Surprisingly enough, when it comes to paedophilia, the cops tend to be less than sympathetic to the alleged perp regardless of his guilt or innocence. If you don't report it, then you are enabling him.
marymary100

[*] posted on 4-7-2017 at 14:41
Balderdash.
scholar

[*] posted on 4-7-2017 at 12:41
Quote:
Originally posted by marymary100
Prayer is NOT what she needs. Violence isn't either. Contact the Police and Social Work departments. It is their job to protect her.

And, actually scholar, what kind of person overshares this type of very distressing information and doesn't offer anything other than prayer as a solution? If you don't step up, you're part of the problem.

In situations where the mother and the common-law husband stand united against the child, denying that there is any problem, and there is no unequivocal evidence to the contrary, the authorities will not believe the child to act in her interest against the lying offender.

I have been close enough to quite a few people who have been molested or raped that I know how badly the authorities respond.:(
scholar

[*] posted on 4-7-2017 at 12:27
Quote:
Originally posted by Quaver
Quote:
Originally posted by scholar
I'm told that if this is reported to the authorities, the mother and the molester will say he is innocent, but the daughter would be removed from the family.

Really? Couldn't your grand-niece stay with your step-daughter?

The grand-niece could indeed stay with the step-daughter, if the girl's drunken, greedy mother would co-operate. But, since she is denying that her sexually perverted paycheck common-law husband did anything wrong, and she wants him to stay and pay for alcohol and other bills, she just wants her daughter to consider it a case of mistaken identity and forget about it. The mother also gets additional welfare money from the government so long as her daughter is in her home, but that goes away if the girl lives elsewhere.
Quote:
What if that sexual molester re-offends? Some other girl could be left scarred for life?
I fully expect he will re-offend, with the girl herself, if he gets away with it the first time. He did it when she was asleep, so there is a danger every night.
Quaver

[*] posted on 4-7-2017 at 11:20
Quote:
Originally posted by scholar
I'm told that if this is reported to the authorities, the mother and the molester will say he is innocent, but the daughter would be removed from the family.

Really? Couldn't your grand-niece stay with your step-daughter?
What if that sexual molester re-offends? Some other girl could be left scarred for life?
marymary100

[*] posted on 4-7-2017 at 07:19
Prayer is NOT what she needs. Violence isn't either. Contact the Police and Social Work departments. It is their job to protect her.

And, actually scholar, what kind of person overshares this type of very distressing information and doesn't offer anything other than prayer as a solution? If you don't step up, you're part of the problem.
scholar

Depicts mood of post posted on 4-7-2017 at 03:52
Tonight I learned that a grand-niece has been sexually molested by the common-law husband of one of my nieces (a man who is not the grand-niece's father). The niece is an alcoholic and unemployed, a woman who spent some years in prison for transporting a large amount of cocaine. The common-law husband has some income, and the niece is saying that she believes his version of what happened, which is that he molested the girl thinking that she was her mother. She woke up, when he had his fingers inside her, and he has been overly physically affectionate toward her before. She is just 13 years old, and exceptionally beautiful. She told my step-daughter what happened, by IM--probably because she knew her own mother wouldn't do anything.

I'm told that if this is reported to the authorities, the mother and the molester will say he is innocent, but the daughter would be removed from the family. My step-daughter has kept the girl with her since getting the IM.

If this had happened five years ago, any one of three of Ruby's brothers would have been ready to kill or severely injure the guy. But, two of the "avenging relatives" are now in prison, and one has died. I am not inclined to do anything like that, myself. (But I would rise to the occasion if the man attacked my grand-niece while I was there.)

I highly regard the step-daughter who let me know what is going on. She stood by her own daughter when a cousin molested her and supported her in testifying. That molester was convicted, but appeals have resulted in a new trial, I learned tonight.

I'd be happy if those so inclined would pray for the girl, and the whole family, in this horrible situation.

:(